Flying Machines Poetry Prompt: An Ode to SkyMall

I’ve never met anyone who actually ordered something from the beloved in-flight publication, SkyMall. But, I’d like to.

My affection for the SkyMall catalog was plain and simple. With an inability to focus on any one thing during a flight, reading chapters of a book was out. Reading what other people were reading could be interpreted as creepy (sorry again Janis, wherever you are). So, to find a SkyMall catalog tucked away in the seat pocket brought me joy. The products were unique, sometimes odd, and always left me quietly snort-laughing for half-an-hour or so as I sat wedged between two people in the dreaded middle seat.

“If there is any piece of writing that defines our culture, I submit it’s the SkyMall catalog,” author Bill McKibben wrote in a 2006 essay in Orion magazine. “To browse its pages is to understand the essential secret of American consumer life: That we’ve officially run out not only of things we need, but even of things we might plausibly desire.”

One of their best-selling items was “Bigfoot: The Garden Yeti Statue.” Yes, it’s a thing. Not only did they offer unusual gifts any business man would want to order for his wife’s belated birthday, their descriptive copy of the items made anyone want to believe.

For example, a description of the Pierogi Christmas Ornament once offered:

“Our finely crafted and tastefully decorated ornament is sure to become a family heirloom.”

Translation: “Just some brittle, half-moon-shaped brown wad? No siree. This is something special. Trust us, she’ll love it. Your future grandchildren will thank you. This could be your legacy… For $7.99 plus shipping and handling.”

And while she’s gazing adoringly at the sure-to-be-heirloom, you could be sitting in your easy-chair wearing the SkyMall helmet that promises to regrow your hair with lasers. It’s a great time to be alive!

Yet, all good things must come to an end, and sadly, the in-flight catalog full of wonder came to an end when the parent company filed for bankruptcy. The last issue found its way to airplane seat pockets in April 2015.

Although another company purchased SkyMall and kept its online presence, their products are no longer quite the same offbeat merchandise we’ve come to love (like a waterbed for a cat). But if you’re looking for a regular old window mattress for your feline furrever-whatever, you can still count on them to deliver.

If you’d like to see some of the greatest hits from SkyMall in all their quirky glory, click here. Oh, and if you wish you’d bought the lawn Yeti when you had the chance? Good news. You still can.

Try It: Ode to SkyMall

Take a trip back to the golden age of flying— with a catalog. Are you one of the millions of airline passengers who found delight within the pages of SkyMall? What was the strangest product you remember seeing? Imagine you are one of these peculiar gadgets or home decor oddities and write a poem about your life. Or pretend you are the customer who orders that strange product (you should be proud if you really did), and write about the human side of the merchandise. You can challenge yourself by writing a poem in the form of an ode, or just wing it (Ha! Get it?).

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Featured Poem

Thanks to everyone who participated in last week’s poetry prompt. Here is a poem from Rick we enjoyed:

Myth of Wings

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
― Leonardo da Vinci

It is not enough to merely leave the ground.
You know this—what you imagine is not real.

A dark fish leaps. Armor softens
into flight—yet, the sea still pools in a raven’s wing.

The bent world turns impossibly.
Even angels are drawn to its cage,

but sleights of mind, failed in the light of day.
In only dreams are we meant to fly.

Listen: in the frail air
above the earth, where all cries are whispers,

the falcon, feathered hyphen, rises,
vanishes in the illusion of morning blue.

Ask yourself, what is this, if neither wing nor eye?

—by Rick Maxson

Photo by Benson Kua. Creative Commons via Flickr.

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Heather Eure

Heather Eure has served as the Poetry Editor for the late Burnside Collective and Special Projects Editor for us at Tweetspeak Poetry. Her poems have appeared at Every Day Poems. Her wit has appeared just about everywhere she's ever showed up, and if you're lucky you were there to hear it.

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