Recently, before I could leave a comment on a blog post, I was asked to confirm that I was not a robot—by a robot! Like he could tell. Dutifully, I checked the little box next to “I’m not a robot, ” and after thinking about it for a few seconds, the robot pronounced me fully human—or, at least not a machine.
A few days later, I was reminded of this online interaction while watching the Imitation Game, the cinematic account of the life of mathematician Alan Turing. In the film, Turing, who cracked the Nazi Enigma Code during World War II with an early version of the supercomputer, is interrogated by a police officer after his own home was broken into. Police suspect he is hiding something, that he is a Soviet spy or worse.
After Turing tells his story, he invites the officer to play a “round” of the Imitation Game. “You get to judge, ” Turing says, “What am I? Am I a machine? Am I a person? Am I a criminal? Am I a war hero?”
I’m certainly no war hero. Nor a criminal. But the question of whether I am a machine or a person seems to be up for debate, and not just by robots. As the end of the year approached, I noticed that my work, my writing, even my household chores, had taken on a humanless quality. “MUST COMPLETE TASK, ” I repeated, over and over. Occasionally I froze up for no apparent reason. Most of the time I felt like my batteries were a little low.
The creative life can feel so mechanical when we get caught up in efficiency and productivity and strategy. Of course I should be diligent in doing the work of writing. Without my task list and timer, I don’t meet my writing objectives. But when I become all about my task list and timer, I become a joyless machine just pounding out word counts.
It’s not that machines can’t produce beautiful work. Alan Turing’s work in creating Christopher, the machine that ultimately took down the Nazi Regime in World War II, has not only lived on in memory but contributes toward greater and greater automation, toward a world where robots can evaluate and plan and create. Gone are the days where machines replaced only the “muscle work” of our society. Now, according to the video, Humans Need Not Apply, all our work—from service to creative to professional—is in jeopardy of being replaced.
Robots are even writing now, according to John Aziz in an article for The Week. And I don’t just mean writers acting like robots, either. “They’re certainly coming for journalists—in March this year [2014] the Los Angeles Times published a piece written by automated software to report on an earthquake, ” Aziz explained. “But that is an automated story, from a template created by a human. For weather reports, financial reports, earthquake reports—things that can be written out from a template— this will probably become increasingly common, and faster and maybe more accurate than if it were done by humans.”
As a writer myself, I became concerned. I had always thought creativity shielded me from the automation takeover of the world. And though I sometimes shift into robot mode, I don’t want to be a robot. Or be replaced by one. I needed answers. I needed to know once and for all whether I should be planning for a career shift toward, oh, I don’t know, say personal assistant to a robot.
I needed to go straight to the source, so I grabbed my iPhone.
“Siri, are robots going to take over my job?”
“Let’s see, ” she replied. “I found this on the web for ‘are robots going to take over my job.’”
She was hedging. I pressed harder.
“No, I mean are you going to take over my job?” I asked.
“Who, me?”
“Darn it, Siri, don’t be coy, ” I said, shaking the phone a little.
“I’m sorry, ” she said, as if robots feel remorse.
“Are you really sorry?” I asked.
“I can’t answer that, ” she said. I knew it.
If robots are going to replace me, then surely some of them must be writers. Maybe even Siri herself.
“Siri, are you a writer?” I asked.
“No comment, Charity, ” she answered. Okay, Siri, if that’s how you want to play it.
“Read me one of your poems, Siri.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Charity. I write the fourth worst poetry in the universe.”
Ah ha! “Siri, who writes poetry worse than you?
“Let me check on that . . .” she said, as she did a quick sweep of the entire Internet. I have to admit, she is fast.
She cheerfully gave me a list of the worst poetry in the universe, teasing me with Vogon poetry from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, which I guess every robot knows (even if I didn’t) is third worst. As long as I’m at least the fifth worst poet (and brush up on my cultural references), maybe I’m safe.
“Thanks Siri, you’ve relieved my mind, ” I said, feeling a little sheepish.
“My pleasure, ” she said. “As always.”
Maybe I’ve misjudged robots. I could learn a lot from Siri about detail, context, even humor. And as long as I can still play a little and experiment in my work and take a break now and then, maybe working like a robot isn’t all bad.
Unless of course you’re the one who gets stuck asking people if they are robots.
Not even a robot would want that job.
Photo by JL Watkins, Creative Commons license via Flickr. Post by Charity Singleton Craig, co-author of On Being a Writer: 12 Simple Habits for a Writing Life that Lasts.
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Donna says
Lol!!! Charity, I love this…. this does compute, for sure, and in case you’re wondering, I am not a robot. 😉 But, I did stay at a Holiday Express…. once… I think. Or did I play one on TV? I can’t remember. Maybe Siri knows.
But siriously, we really do personalize our computers, almost instinctively. Wondering if that’s a developmental phase? Really good piece- my mind is pinging.
Charity Singleton Craig says
Thanks, Donna! I had a lot of fun writing this, and Will helped me a lot in the editing process. I’m not a naturally fun or funny writer, so I’m practicing! I think that’s part of my quest not to be so robot-like! I mean if Siri can be a tease, I should lighten up a little, too!
I will say that the video “Humans Need Not Apply” is a little creepy. You might check it out and then do something really nice for your favorite robot! They’re coming! 🙂
Donna says
I’ll look at that! And, you are very funny! This was a great way to start my day…. and you now have me wondering who’s in charge? I mean, who is asking WHOM for ID? Maybe it’s time to switch gears and demand transparency from our Robot citizens. 🙂 Maybe my answering machine message should be changed to something like “If you are a robot, please press none” but, I don’t want to make them cry. Do robot’s cry? Maybe Siri knows.
Donna says
Eeek. Creepy is one word.
Laura Brown says
I got Siri to recite a little bit of her poetry for me. She’s right. It’s pretty bad.
Charity Singleton Craig says
Siri is hysterical! It’s funny because even though she clearly is programmed to respond to certain types of questions, she doesn’t always answer the same way when you ask her the exact same question, much less when it’s worded a little differently.
Well, at least I know she wasn’t lying about being the fourth worst poet. With a little work, maybe I’ll move up from being the fifth worst to say, maybe, 289th worst. That should keep me safe for a while! 🙂
Simply Darlene says
Charity, I reckon you’ve instigated a “Let’s ask Siri about poetry day” with this piece. 🙂 Hope she took her robotical turbo mental booster vit.s this morning.
My son likes to sing one line and play Name that Tune with the robotic gal. Have you tried it with poetry?
Charity Singleton Craig says
Darlene — I haven’t tried that with Siri. But I’m sure with the entire internet at her disposal, she should be able to finish almost any poem! 😉
Yes, I expect Siri will be quite busy today. But don’t worry, she’s up for it! She is a robot after all! 🙂
Elizabeth Marshall says
I love this!!
My kiddos and I have had interesting convo’s with Siri. I am always amazed at what she “gets”– inuendo, nuance, wit, humor, playfullness, coyness, sudtleties, and sarcasm. I know humans that have difficulties with these.
Glad to hear she’s willing to take on poetry.
She steers clear of faith issues, religion and politics.
At least the woman knows healthy boundaries in conversations with “strangers”. 🙂
Charity Singleton Craig says
Elizabeth – We like to tease Siri, too, and you’re right. She’s a great sport! I hadn’t thought about how healthy her boundaries are, but you are right!
L. L. Barkat says
I love this piece. I think you’re finding your humor stride. And it’s delightful. 🙂
I foresee Siri poetry! (Darlene, do you think she’d show up for Take Your Poet to Work Day? 🙂 )
Simply Darlene says
Being stuffed in pockets and crammed in satchels, Siri’d have no choice but to attend Take Your Poet to Work Day. And on a side note, in my house she’s always ready and dressed for success in her red, rubberized, 6-foot drop-proof case.
Charity Singleton Craig says
L.L. – I am working hard at my humor stride, actually! And the hysterically funny Will Willlingham is helping me! Add Siri’s wit to that, and I’m in good hands!
And speaking of Siri poetry, here is a link to some robot poetry: https://alum.mit.edu/sites/default/files/migrated/news/AlumniNews/docs/Honorable-Mentions-poems-final.pdf. This is one of my favorites from that list:
robots try to write haikus
with wrong number of
ERROR: Segmentation fault
Maureen Doallas says
Great post, Charity. And no kidding, it raises some profoundly timely questions. Artificial intelligence is a high-priority security topic.
Did you ever see the wonderful film “Robot & Frank” with Frank Langella? It’s quirky and smart and at times deeply moving.
Book titles kept going through my mind:
Sirian Poetry
Poetry from Siri(a)
Sirian Sonnets
Charity Singleton Craig says
Maureen – Yes, I’ve been hearing a lot about automation and artificial intelligence. While researching this piece, I found that robots aren’t in our future. They are already a very big part of our culture. There are some interesting opinions about what a fully automated world would look like.
I haven’t seem “Robot &b Frank” but I need to see if it’s on Netflix. Sounds funny.
Simply Darlene says
who can resist a
little robot haiku? change
its batteries please
charge its energy
but do not trust those who can
not drink coffee, dance
Elizabeth Marshall says
Darlene, what a hoot 🙂
Charity Singleton Craig says
I see how robots
could replace writers like us,
but what’ll we do then?
Charity Singleton Craig says
I’m assuming “what’ll” could be spoken in one syllable . . . but probably not with all accents! 🙂
SimplyDarlene says
charity, if you drink coffee by the mug, and by “mug” i mean a 24 ounce ceramic cup that requires 2 hands to hold, “what’ll” (along with puddle & pedal) is 1 syllable.
Elizabeth Marshall says
Siri seems human
almost seems to know it all
till her charger’s gone
When her charger’s gone
Siri is beside herself
She sure seemed human
When she’s at zero
She’s beside herself
Nothing left to say
Poor Siri, she was
Almost human to Apple
Seems to know it all
SimplyDarlene says
teehee.
Charity Singleton Craig says
Love these!
Sandra Wirfel says
Robot haiku…thanks for sharing
Katie Andraski says
This is hilarious. I hope your work starts feeling more like play again, maybe with some wasted time thrown in along with naps.
Charity Singleton Craig says
Thanks so much, Katie! Believe it or not, writing posts like this are part of my plan to live a little less robotically! And the naps are not a bad idea, too!
Sandra Heska King says
Oh my goodness, Charity. This is hysterical! Last night I asked Siri to tell me a story. And she did. After she said, “I’m sure you’ve heard it before, Sandy.”
Then I asked her who her father was, and she said I was the only family she needed.
I love Siri.
Sandra Heska King says
She cobbles answers from an apple
about what to wear
and what’s the score
and what the fox says.
When I asked what her favorite animal was,
she said, “I wrote my master’s thesis on the
Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.”
But her battery died before I could discover
the best flavor of ice cream
to top my pie.
Charity Singleton Craig says
Of course having the entire internet at your disposal helps, but that Siri is just a comedian when it comes to throwing in obscure and hysterical cultural references. The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog is from Monty Python. And I’ll just tell you that my sons wouldn’t stop singing about what the fox says for weeks!
You know, Siri is like a smaller, wittier Rosie (from the Jetsons). When I was a child, I couldn’t wait for the day when I would have my own Rosie to help with chores and such. Siri’s not that great at making the bed and doing the laundry, but she’ll do for a lot of other tasks!
Sandra Wirfel says
My husband has conversations with Siri often when we are traveling, and I often think I should write these conversations down. Seeeing as I choose not to own a cell phone I have not utilized her services, but Siri does give me things to think about, I love the fact that her tone never changes. I wish I could figure out how to do that.
Charity Singleton Craig says
It’s a good point, Sandra. While I may have been a little anti-robot in this post, there is a lot of value to being able to work efficiently, respond consistently, and not drift along according to my emotions. So now what am I saying? I want to be a cyborg? 🙂
Not really. But you raise an interesting point about the tone of voice. That would be really helpful in the heat of difficult conversations.
Megan Willome says
Delightful, Charity! More humor, please!
And someone told me that when we follow the appropriate steps to answer the question, “Are you a robot?” we’re basically saying, yes, we are a robot. A non-robot would do something unexpected. But then, our little comment would never appear.
Charity Singleton Craig says
Megan – Let me guess . .. did a robot tell you that? Sounds like a robot! 🙂 Just kidding.
I’ve always said that I want to be predictable, especially in relationships. That’s another way in which being like a robot isn’t all bad, I guess!
Richard Maxson says
Charity, this is so good, informative and funny. I can’t wait until March for your writing course.
The JL Watkins photo is priceless. Your piece brought back memories of one of my favorite Richard Brautigan poems (from 1967!):
All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace
I like to think (and
the sooner the better!)
of a cybernetic meadow
where mammals and computers
live together in mutually
programming harmony
like pure water
touching clear sky.
I like to think
(right now please!)
of a cybernetic forest
filled with pines and electronics
where deer stroll peacefully
past computers
as if they were flowers
with spinning blossoms.
I like to think
(it has to be!)
of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and joined back to nature,
returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters,
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.
—Richard Brautigan, Published in Communication Company 1967
Charity Singleton Craig says
I love this poem, Richard! I think there’s so much to consider when it comes to machines. I just read an article at the end of last week related to artificial intelligence. Basically, the message was that because machines are being programmed to learn, we need to proceed with even more caution than ever. The gist was that learning machines could learn to take us over, and if that were to happen, then machines would need to learn some type of morality. I’m doing a horrible job summarizing here, but your poem speaks to that same message when it ascribes “loving grace” to machines.
Thanks for your comment! I’m looking forward to the workshop, too!
Diana Meo says
Loved the piece. I checked out your website tonight to see just what you write. The Georgia O’Keefe piece was especially interesting as I just went to the exhibit earlier this month. It felt like I was seeing the exhibit all over again. Enjoyed seeing you at the PCPL last evening. I have been thinking about writing all day. My procrastination is still stronger than my actual writing, but at least I am thinking of writing. Diana
Charity Singleton Craig says
Diana – It was great to see you and reconnect on Wednesday. And thanks for tracking down my work. I am glad that you’ve started thinking about writing. I think it’s a first step! Maybe you could choose a small goal to start with just to get you practicing writing again! Best wishes! And keep in touch!
Hudson Robotics says
When my kids discovered Siri, they were amazed at how she answered and provided information. Sometimes the responses are quite interesting.